Wednesday, March 15, 2006

LOSE YOUR SENSES

Ever wondered how it feels to lose those oh-so-valuable Five senses?

Let me tell you how it feels.

BLINDNESS
When in over-enthusiasm you apply Tiger balm not only on your forehead but close to your eyes as well. The results can be devastating. Cold water aggravates it and you make incomprehensible sounds like "nyaaaaarrrggghhhhh!!!!!!", punctuated with tons of swear words. Moral - Tiger balm is meant for any part of the body other than the eyes. It can help when you want to irritate the sh*t out of somebody though!

DEAFNESS
Try drowning!!! On my Goa trip in August last year, a sudden malicious wave swept an unsuspecting me off my feet. The feeling of not having ground under your feet is mortifying. In contrast, when gravity slowly brings you underwater, you realise that the silence is deathfully peaceful. Quite the opposite of the intended fate. And no, my life didnt flash before my eyes. I'm grateful to the second wave which realised what an asset(!) I am to this world, and brought me back ashore.

ANOSMIA
Well dont we all have this! This is a medical term implying loss of the sense of smell. Most often caused by the bane of this world - common cold! We are going to live a long time with that!

LOSS OF TASTE
They say Greed is bad. And rightly so. Often dishes hot off the plate are gobbled up by hogs like me. The result is almost always a scalded tongue. Poor taste buds of mine undergo this inhuman torture & then of course I suffer coz I cant f**king taste anything. And as luck would have it, I get to eat the yummiest food (according to others) during this very phase. Harrrrumph!

TOUCH
This one is easy. Not many might have it, but having given a lot of anesthesia to patients, i know what it can do. a lot of help to me for sure, but I wouldnt want it in all thw wrong places. Innit? No no no!!!! I dont deal with General anesthesia. I do not put patients to sleep. I shall definitely do that the day a HOT patient walks into my humble abode. Now thats wat I call real anesthesia! Apart from that, try getting slapped hard across the face. Yes, that makes you numb too!

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