Friday, April 14, 2006

POST OF YESTERYEAR

The following passages are not part of my ongoing blog, rather they are excerpts from my diary which I used to keep before I started blogging. Now going through everything would be tiring & boring, so I have chosen just a few passages from the last few days I spent in college. It brings forth my naivety, & some deep thoughts too. Plus, a little bit of kiddishness to douse the serious stuff :)

Here it comes, an abridged & unedited (except for a few names) version of the last few diary entries of late last year

Thoughts are forever on my mind, but not often on paper. Wrds are often on my lips, but not always are they formed into sentences. It is often when I feel strongly about something but fail to write it down beacuse of laziness or procrastination

A matter bugging me is how there's been a distance now between me & my friends. All because now they're either in relationships, or close to someone. Dips, Feb, Soc, Shruti, Mani. I know they must have felt the same way when I was with N, but that time it was just me,& they were all single. Now I have to bear the loneliness most of the times, alone.

College is over officially, though Im still doing my repetition which hopefully gets over this Tueday. Already a lot of friends have stopped coming to college since they finished long back. S has left for home. It was an emotional moment. We did not part on the best of terms because of an unfortunate misunderstanding that Im unaware of, and that led to a rift between us. Still, the moment of separation is a tough one, & as he left that day, I couldnt help but feel sentimental & sorry that we did not part as amicably as we ought to have. Shruthi wept & was in a very snappy mood which irritated me. S is her best pal, maybe more than that, & she was more upset than anyone over his departure. But I think I can be really selfish & self-centred, & fail to sense the importance of another's emotions. Sanjiv, Nitu, Das & Imran had also come to see him off. Looking at the bond that they shared, I wondeed how I never became such good friends with them. True, they are my friends, but I think Ive constructed a wall around me, as a result of which Im not close to too many people. Plus, most of my best friends are girls. Someone help me figure that one out!!!

I have a crush on *@!^@$!!!! She's also a Scorp.Funny how I keep falling for Scorpios inspite of having had a disastrous relationship with one. She's cute, a little arrogant, which I like despite of myself, and she s not afraid to speak her mind.

One of the endearing things about hostel is Aditya Ashok & his car music system playng full blast music just outside my room at nights. That too, not the usual hip hop , but funny numbers like Mughal-e-azam or Pyar humey kis mod pe le aaya!!!! The hostel has also been a place of many overheard conversations, witnessed fights & also a constant source of mosquitoes & motorbike exhaust.

Today, Imrans bike got towed away & I took him to the ploice station, a dilapidated one with centuries old paint, damp walls, small rooms with officials & tonnes of files, slow creaky fans & a statistical chart depicting the fine collected over the last 3 yrs (with plenty of spelling mistakes & offense-entry such as "for carrrying lengthy material" . Heaven knows I tought something else out of it!!! (though it meant for carryin tubes & pipes etc)

Radz had called up & said that Princi refused to give her signatures because she saw us hugging & kissing (?????) on College Day. Thats a new one for me... Another stupid hurdle just before leaving!!!

I seriously dont know why Ive put up this post, but yesterday I was going through the diary & it showed how much my thoughts have changed & how introspective I can be at times. Plus a few funny incidents , so thought Id put it up here.

No comments:

Post a Comment