Wednesday, October 28, 2009

THE LADY, THE IMAGINARY COW AND I...

Cow by Mondojohn, www.deviantart.com


A return to Mumbai invariably means taking the chaotic rush & traffic head on. It also means that all semblance (or rather, pretense) of road-etiquette inculcated on a foreign trip is lost in the melee of exhaust and human processions. Patiently waiting for the green signal becomes a forgotten memory (in spite of the fact that there isn't really a hurry to get anywhere. One's back to relax, isn't it? Or is it just our innate desire to be ahead at any cost?)

So it comes to be that his unquestioned self-imposed authority on the street takes over and he drives like it's his baap kaa road. However, a Godly wand is waved and speedy justice is delivered. Rash driving is countered by a woman sashaying her ware in a shockingly gaudy sari in the middle of the road, unperturbed by the fact that she's holding up traffic like the Holy Indian Cow. Her rump is all he gets to see (the rest is covered in blingy embellishments) and he could swear that the sway of her hips was not unlike the wag of a cow's tail. Another moment, and she would turn, her mouth full of cud and her eyes full of becalmed disdain.

The cow ambles along. The human in the car zips ahead and still drives like a maniac. The pedestrians continue to saunter on the road like one would in their garden. And hence, the game of retribution continues. Tit-for-tat, how's that?

Now how about working together? How about you use the zebra crossings and I follow the lane system? How about we make being on the street a more pleasurable experience? What? No, it's not mere baap kaa road but can't we just.... Hear me out... But..... I mean...

Ahhhh! Just forget it!!!! Carry on...